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I specified the date because in some part of the world I would not doubt if it's already the 9th but I honestly don't know all the different time zones so I'm not sure how far ahead the farthest east is.
Anyway, I'm depressed because now I'll be 30, still unemployed with nothing to really show for in my life. I have nearly no artistic talent, I haven't had any motivation to work on my story in over a year now, I have no license, I'm still a virgin and have never even had my first kiss. The latter two things due entirely to the fact that I haven't been able to begin transitioning due to being stuck living with my parents whom are very close minded. My step-dad is bi-polar, homophobic, racist AND a hypocrite while my mother is a faithful 'by the bible' Christian who thinks I'm just 'going through a phase'.
So yeah, I first need to find a job so I can find a new place to live, hopefully with a roommate who is okay with the whole transsexual thing so that I can eventually transition. The problem with that is finding someone you can trust, some people can easily pretend to be okay with it but might really be SO against it that they'd murder me in my sleep or something.
All this makes me wish magic was real or simply wishes could come true, but I know that if that were to happen the bad people in the world would abuse it to their benefit which just ruins it for everyone else. *sighs* Only way I'll ever be truly happy in this world is if I were to come across a large amount of money to move, and transition with enough to live on if it came to that so that I could deal with having no job but still try to find one so I'm not bored.
Safe to say my only birthday wish is to find myself 100% genetically female, but I doubt that'll ever happen.
Anyway, I'm depressed because now I'll be 30, still unemployed with nothing to really show for in my life. I have nearly no artistic talent, I haven't had any motivation to work on my story in over a year now, I have no license, I'm still a virgin and have never even had my first kiss. The latter two things due entirely to the fact that I haven't been able to begin transitioning due to being stuck living with my parents whom are very close minded. My step-dad is bi-polar, homophobic, racist AND a hypocrite while my mother is a faithful 'by the bible' Christian who thinks I'm just 'going through a phase'.
So yeah, I first need to find a job so I can find a new place to live, hopefully with a roommate who is okay with the whole transsexual thing so that I can eventually transition. The problem with that is finding someone you can trust, some people can easily pretend to be okay with it but might really be SO against it that they'd murder me in my sleep or something.
All this makes me wish magic was real or simply wishes could come true, but I know that if that were to happen the bad people in the world would abuse it to their benefit which just ruins it for everyone else. *sighs* Only way I'll ever be truly happy in this world is if I were to come across a large amount of money to move, and transition with enough to live on if it came to that so that I could deal with having no job but still try to find one so I'm not bored.
Safe to say my only birthday wish is to find myself 100% genetically female, but I doubt that'll ever happen.
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So I know I've been quiet/away...
So it has been almost a year since my last journal entry. Current job is utter crap and trying hard to find somewhere else to work or even get some grievances filled. Such things as the store manager and perishable foods manager making fun of my weight, store manager getting on my case when I had to go to the emergency room due to severe allergic reaction (due to being allergic to dogs and too many people bringing in what are clearly not service dogs and putting them in shopping carts right where children should be sitting). So yeah not good management staff...I've tried talking to HR and my Union Representative but not sure if anything is being done there. I'm hoping to find some work from home job as my mom's health has been deteriorating and she is currently my primary transportation to and from work (as I can't drive due to being blind in my left eye and public transit is far too confusing the last few times I've tried using it). In other, much more depressing news, back on May
Want to commission an artist but...
...I haven't the slightest clue what to commission. I desperately want to commission someone and upload that commissioned piece to my gallery to give it some new content after so many years...but I've just been clueless on what to commission. So, I'm taking suggestions in the comments, if you have some ideas, feel free to shoot them to me, while keeping in mind that this is a piece I want to have of at minimum one of my characters (so I'm not just going to commission something for someone else). I don't expect much of anything here, to be honest, if nothing else hoping this will help revitalize my imagination or something so that I can think of something to commission.
In so much physical pain...
Sadly I don't have much to update since my last journal, I've been working a lot, and I do mean a LOT since the last time I posted. This due to my working at my local grocery store which is, of course, essential business and thus isn't closing, just like gas stations, hospitals, and others I can't name off the top of my head right now. An upside to all this is that I'm getting plenty of hours, thus more money than I usually get, but the downside is I'm doing more that has become physically exhausting and I end up getting home with a swollen ankle (due to being overweight and on my feet 8 hours straight), and pain radiating in my back from ben
Geez over a year since my last update, sorry.
So I realize it has been over a year since my last journal and thus update on things that have been happening, some ups, and of course some downs.
I took some online friend's advice (whom I can't recall anymore who it was sadly) and started to stream on Twitch around April of 2019. They initially suggested it because they noticed I enjoy gaming and tend to ramble to myself sometimes about things either in-game or other things. I honestly started doing so initially with apprehension, wondering if anyone would even watch me play a game basically, but then in September, I made it to affiliate which shocked me to the core that I literally began
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We never know what the future may bring, but I am hoping and praying that you are able to find independence away from your step-father who seems to be someone who would only bring you down in nearly every aspect. As bad as things get, they can turn around very quickly toward the positive, and I hope that happens for you very very soon. Oh, and 30 is STILL YOUNG. Don;t worry, your love is out there, and they are searching for you, too. 